Happiness?

You put a hand-print on my heart that I could never remove. You engraved my heart so deeply that it would never fade. You shattered my heart into millions of shards so that it could never heal. Are you happy now? Are you satisfied?

You don't seem to mind but you can't feel my pain. A silent pain that nobody knows, a silent ache that nobody can feel...

Desperation

I know you're desperate but making up a rumour to hurt me really doesn't give you more friends. Seriously, just stop creating false rumours and perhaps learn to act more maturely. This really doesn't get you anywhere and you're just wasting energy. Just give up; you'll never win.

Seriously Trying Too Hard

You know, I accept the fact that you have a problem with me but seriously, is it necessary to strip me of my closest friends too? I can accept that you don't want to be my friend, that you don't like me, that you want to be better than me but my best friends mean the world to me. By taking that away, you're taking away a part of me.

You're not talking to me, you're not acknowledging me, you're basically pretending I don't exist. That's fine with me; I really couldn't care less but you must know, that you seem so desperate to get close to my best friends in hopes that they will like you better than they like me. I can tell you now that it will not happen. They know who you are and what your personality is. Don't try to hard. It just makes you look desperate and you won't succeed, I can guarantee you that.

Don't be so fake. It's so artificial, it's almost plastic. You say you care about me, yet you treat me like this. Your face is plastered with a smile that can get you past most people but it can't penetrate me. I know it's fake and I will not fall for it. You say you don't want your me to be in pain but you're the one causing my pain. You say you don't want to see me sad but you're the one making me sad. You say you don't want me to feel bad but your word choice implies that it's all my fault.

You say one thing and mean another. I guess it's kind of ironic how you pretend to be everyone's friend. No wonder you do so well in drama. You pretend to like the teachers but you hate many of them. I wonder how many friends you give that type of treatment to. I wonder how many of them actually know the real you.

You tell me that I don't know you but is that a lie too? You've told me that I know you well, and now you contradict yourself. Which one is the lie? You're just saying that to make me feel distant and make yourself seem hard to decipher. Well, I know I'm a complicated person and you haven't deciphered me yet. You don't understand my actions yet but in the future, I hope you will understand.

I will not make a sacrifice just to be your friend. If you want to be friends, we both have to make sacrifices and since you told me you're not even going to try, so I'm going to assume we're restricted from friendship for life. If you choose to remain like that, I have no regrets. I rather have great relationships with my many other friends than to make sacrifices for you. It's your loss, not mine and I'm happy for our current status to remain that way forever. I really couldn't cared less.

Roses

So much happened today...mysterious roses from people pretending to be others. People using other people to get to their Valentine. School is so complicated. Love is so complicated. Everything is so complicated.

Being Used?

Apparently, according to certain people, asking to borrow something is called using them because somebody right now is not being my friend because I'm asking for sheet music from her.

Apparently, I used that certain person simply because I asked them for sheet music and she thinks that that's all I wanted out of that friendship. Well, I must say, this is absolutely not true. Firstly, I would never use someone. Secondly, friendships mean much more to me than using people. Friendships are for life and I will definitely not sacrifice a friendship just so I can go around using people.

If that certain somebody is reading this, you may like to consider this:
Is it wrong to ask for help? Is it wrong to borrow sheet music?

Bully?

I don't think everyone understand the concept of bullying. To assist them, I have put together some information.

A dictionary's meaning of bullying is:
- a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people

According to Wikipedia:
- Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person.

Bullying comes in three different categories:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Verbal

Physical bullying includes:
- Punching, shoving, kicking
- Harmful and hurting physical contact
- Biting, choking, throwing things
- beating, stabbing, scratching

Emotional and verbal bullying includes:
- name calling
- silent treatment
- manipulation
- false gossip or rumours
- lies
- mocking
- saying things that trigger a reaction from past events

I have not done any of this. Please tell me exactly what I did that made me a bully. You have offended me in every way possible by calling me a bully. I would never bully anyone regardless of the situation.

You said it was peer pressure. You had the choice of choosing whether you would like to lend it to me. You chose not to. I didn't pressure you to let me borrow it. That doesn't make me a bully. I turned to someone for advice and to you, it is spreading rumours. That doesn't make me a bully. Not communicating with each other is normal in an argument. That doesn't make me a bully.

Personally, I can't find anything that makes me a bully, so if you would care to explain, I would be grateful.