Seriously Trying Too Hard

You know, I accept the fact that you have a problem with me but seriously, is it necessary to strip me of my closest friends too? I can accept that you don't want to be my friend, that you don't like me, that you want to be better than me but my best friends mean the world to me. By taking that away, you're taking away a part of me.

You're not talking to me, you're not acknowledging me, you're basically pretending I don't exist. That's fine with me; I really couldn't care less but you must know, that you seem so desperate to get close to my best friends in hopes that they will like you better than they like me. I can tell you now that it will not happen. They know who you are and what your personality is. Don't try to hard. It just makes you look desperate and you won't succeed, I can guarantee you that.

Don't be so fake. It's so artificial, it's almost plastic. You say you care about me, yet you treat me like this. Your face is plastered with a smile that can get you past most people but it can't penetrate me. I know it's fake and I will not fall for it. You say you don't want your me to be in pain but you're the one causing my pain. You say you don't want to see me sad but you're the one making me sad. You say you don't want me to feel bad but your word choice implies that it's all my fault.

You say one thing and mean another. I guess it's kind of ironic how you pretend to be everyone's friend. No wonder you do so well in drama. You pretend to like the teachers but you hate many of them. I wonder how many friends you give that type of treatment to. I wonder how many of them actually know the real you.

You tell me that I don't know you but is that a lie too? You've told me that I know you well, and now you contradict yourself. Which one is the lie? You're just saying that to make me feel distant and make yourself seem hard to decipher. Well, I know I'm a complicated person and you haven't deciphered me yet. You don't understand my actions yet but in the future, I hope you will understand.

I will not make a sacrifice just to be your friend. If you want to be friends, we both have to make sacrifices and since you told me you're not even going to try, so I'm going to assume we're restricted from friendship for life. If you choose to remain like that, I have no regrets. I rather have great relationships with my many other friends than to make sacrifices for you. It's your loss, not mine and I'm happy for our current status to remain that way forever. I really couldn't cared less.